|
From an
Ordinary Maranao Woman
By Jamila B. Kapampangan
/ Posted 12 July 2011
[Jamila “Jahm”
Kapampangan is a community development volunteer of Balay Mindanaw.
As a young dreamer she started to work with the rural communities of
Misamis Oriental and now found herself working with the more
challenged barangays in the municipality of Aleosan, North
Cotabato.]
|
 |
|
Jahm
Kapampangan |
I am just one of the many
ordinary Maranao youths with an ordinary lifestyle.
I thought finishing my
four-year course is the most fulfilling thing I would ever have.
However, I realized that it is not the case, as I discovered that my
own battle is not yet over.
I came to realize having a
single certificate and diploma at hand is no longer my gauge of
happiness. I felt like wanting to sail on finding the real meaning
of happiness and fulfillment in life. So, I started soul searching
and in a short span of time, I tried responding to the calling of
the Year of Service (YOS) Volunteer Program of Xavier University,
for a year, with full determination. YOS introduced me the spirit of
volunteerism.
The program has become my
stepping stone to know myself better; it provided me the space to
explore the world, with the communities. YOS introduced me to
Katilingbanong Pamahandi sa Mindanaw Foundation, Inc. (KPMFI), a
social enterprise institution, which is one of the proud members of
the Balay Mindanaw Group (BMG). I was with two of my batch mates –
Arielyn Batoy (Lotie) and Jonathan Baja (Athan).
I worked as Sustainable
Integrated Area Development Organizer (SIADO), or Community
Organizer (CO). Balay Mindanaw has become my second family for three
years. Yes, I am always thankful for the opportunity that the
institutions and the staff have provided me; thankful for the
comforting words of wisdom, and for the warm tap on the shoulder.
Balay Mindanaw has been my
shadow and window to discover many things about me and the society.
I have built new friendships and become a member of a big family.
Yes, many challenges came my way but I ended up looking at them as
just small specs when compared to the actual difficult situations of
many communities – of the lumads, settlers and my fellow Muslims.
I remembered my own family
expressing their disgust of my volunteer work. They always asked me
why I had to do it. They preferred me staying at home, ensuring me
that they could also provide anything I would want. All I need to do
is just to take care of the household chores and I am free. They did
not want me away from their side. Well, I couldn’t blame them
because they were just worried about me and my work.
I just woke up feeling one
day that field work is my passion, community is my passion and
learning new things is my passion. Nothing can compare the
happiness and fulfillment that I felt when I was able to bring
something new and helpful to other people. Community work gives me
that sense of fulfillment. It provides me inner happiness.
 |
|
| Jahm
during a peacebuilding orientation in Misamis Oriental. |
|
Every time I feel down, I
always go closer to the community – have a conversation with them,
and listen to their own stories. Listening and interacting with them
add color, give meaning to my life. I always see myself more than
blessed, and luckier than them. Most importantly, I am thankful for
here I am, a Maranao, being trusted by many people. As Athan and
Lotie told me, it is seldom a case for a woman like me treated
without discrimination, considering my culture and religion. Yes,
Maranaos like me are not that easily befriended by everyone. This
was also my personal experience in many gatherings I had been into.
Thinking about it, I guess it is just a matter of openness and
respect as “Respect begets respect.” This value is
really important especially in my kind of work.
Biases and prejudices cause
communication gaps and intensify wrong perceptions. I admit that I
also have several biases inside of me. I have in mind the Christians
as very vulnerable and are always seeking for help; I do not want to
work in Moro communities especially in the Maguindanao areas because
I had this kind of perception that they are generally bad-mannered.
In the past, when I heard the word “Maguindanaons,” how to be
away from them was the very first thought that always came to mind.
I do not want to make friends with them, not even longing to have
come to Maguindanao though I have Iranun cousins living there.
After my three years of
volunteer work with Balay Mindanaw in the province of Misamis
Oriental, and now starting another journey with Balay Aleosan in
North Cotabato, I discovered that all these biases in me are just
misperceptions. And that I should do something to help myself be
transformed!
Truly, I was at first scared
with my decision to volunteer with Balay Aleosan, with that same
level of fear that I saw in my father’s face when he learned I was
again joining Balay Mindanaw. But that emotion, after joining a
series of Local Peace Consultations, has easily transformed into a
more inspired me. The beginning of my journey with the team has been
fruitful, and full of excitement.
I first felt strange working
with my Muslim siblings in Aleosan as I was used to working with the
Christians in Misamis Oriental, however slowly I learned to start
“reframing” of some personal biases.
|
 |
|
Jahm with
the youth in Aleosan. |
The Local Peace Consultations
held at Barangays Pagangan and Dungguan in Aleosan was an “eye
opener” to me. The courage I saw among my Muslim siblings to
reclaim their lives back and prepare a better future for the young
children, and the peace of mind and determination to win back peace
from the violent conflicts they had experienced made me teary eyed.
I was struck and touched by what the participants cited as “Putok
dito, putok doon; takbo dito, takbo duon. At pag-uwi namin para
kumain, ay wala na palang laman ang aming mga kaldero.” “Yun ang
isa pang nakakatrauma.” An Imam said, “Let us not only ask
to have peace nowadays, rather ask that our souls may have peace in
hereafter. Most people think about the present (the enjoyments, and
the cruelty they exert on others, etc.); they do not think about the
life that awaits them.” I knew everyone was touched with the
sermon. Everyone was silent, reflecting on the message. The women
were teary eyed, just like me.
I felt so ashamed that very
moment. They are victims of violence and yet very hopeful –
surviving souls. I felt very little, selfish for not even knowing
their situations had I not been with Balay Mindanaw.
I am thankful to Balay
Mindanaw for the openness, for the invitation to join them in their
journey because I got the chance to see the things I have to see, to
understand the things I ought to understand, and to hear the lessons
and experiences I need to hear.
Assessing myself right now, I
feel the courage, passion inside me that I want to contribute my
time and effort, myself, and be part of the transformation in North
Cotabato. The determination that I have in helping make a difference
in the conflict areas is high. Shame on me if I can’t do something
worthwhile for my fellow Muslims, my fellow human beings....
Yes, my Misamis Oriental
experience with Balay Mindanaw was very unforgettable, worthy and
remarkable because of the generated learning and insights. I think I
am more ready and prepared now as a volunteer SIADO to the areas
where my Muslim siblings are surviving. Balay Aleosan will be with
me in my day-to-day life – being a daughter, a sister, a teammate
and as a friend. I know that I still have to learn many things as I
was born imperfectly. I am vulnerable and frail at times. However,
every time I think of my Muslim siblings, I am always brought back
to the message of the Imam in Dunguan. I am always reminded of my
biases against my own culture – all this, makes me stronger to
pursue helping build peace in my own little way, feeling more
confident because I have with me my team, the elders of Balay
Mindanaw around me, and most importantly, my own Muslim community.
Yes, it is a long way drive
onwards – a beautiful journey, in which only Allah knows where
this will lead to!
|
